I blocked someone this week.

A lesson in boundaries and anger.

I’m about to pop into my vocal booth/closet to begin narration on my next audiobook project. It’s the seventh book in a volume of “middle-aged women’s urban fantasy fiction” (yes, that is a genre). The author has now hired me to narrate three of her series for a total of 15 books. I get excited every time I receive an email from her because I know it contains within it an offer to bring her newly completed book to life with my voice and acting. She writes with just the right amount of humorous snark and sass that she skillfully blends with heartwarming scenes and wise life lessons. I enjoy spending my time in her imaginary worlds and hanging out with all of her characters who I inevitably learn to love along the way.

Before I get to work, I thought I’d write up a short post to share some thoughts that have been kickin’ around inside me since Monday.

I blocked a fellow Stacker this week.

This may not be a big deal to some of you but for me this was brand new territory.

I have somehow managed up until now to exist without getting myself embroiled in online drama. I don’t use Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or TikTok. Mostly, I use social media for research and entertainment purposes or as a venue for sharing my art.

I most certainly don’t see platforms as a place to argue. Who has time for that?!

Early on Monday, I shared a post that I considered to be well-researched about the supplement industry, specifically about vitamin B12. Due to clever marketing and propaganda campaigns funded by the producers of such products, many of us simply trust what we are told and buy what they are selling.

Since I abide by the law ‘do no harm’, I felt inclined to share it.

My intention was to inspire some necessary ‘due dilligence research’ into how synthetic vitamins are made and what is actually in them. Better if people are making informed choices than not, right?

Apparently not everyone would agree with me on the importance of doing research because shortly thereafter, my note was restacked by a woman who took offence to my sharing the article. She wrote a long paragraph explaining why ingesting B12 was essential due to factory farming, soil erosion, blah blah blah….

Two points:

1. I had a vegan diet for 26 years and know every argument in the book. There is no debate I have not had on this topic. I am familiar with all of the vegan arguments/propaganda, including what they get right and what they get wrong. BUT my post was not at all related to meat/vegan/food/diet. It was a post about synthetic supplements. Period.

2. We had never crossed paths previously. This woman had not so much as liked or commented on a single post of mine. Nor I on any of hers. She literally came at me out of nowhere.

Here’s where it gets weird.

When I did not take the bait, but simply stated ‘thanks’, she came back at me with accusations that I was “swirling and whirling with my emotions” and that I “used an ad hominem instead of arguing back” and that ‘facts don’t care about my feelings!’

I had just been slapped in the face verbally by a complete stranger who was intent on invading my peaceful space. But having better things to do than slap her back, I simply replied with, “I’m not looking to argue with you.”

Another fiery paragraph was blasted my way with content completely detached from what was ACTUALLY happening. The derangement of her words made it easy to not take any of it personally, and so I was able to observe her projection, her flustered state, her upset. It was so obvious that it all existed inside of her before she even saw my post. And long before she chose me as a target for her misplaced venom and agitation.

Over the years, I’ve heard of these types of experiences happening to people, mostly on Twitter. This was my first taste. It was clear to me she was not interested in communication, or sharing, or connecting our ideas together for learning alongside each other. She was looking for an outlet for her pain. She chose the wrong girl.

The internet is operating as a mirror. It will show you your triggers. This can be very helpful if you are intent on locating wounds within so you can heal them. Many prefer to avoid looking in the mirror and so they attack others instead.

Hurt people hurt people.

When I saw that she was set on antagonizing me into a state of upset to match hers, I drew a boundary and blocked her. I don’t want to argue. I have things to create.

Done.

I’m not the cause of her pain. She may not be either. But she is responsible for owning it, healing it, transcending it.

This incident of projection reminded me of this amazing zen parable by Thich Nhat Hanh:

A monk decides to meditate alone. Away from his monastery, he takes a boat and goes to the middle of the lake, closes his eyes and begins to meditate. After a few hours of unperturbed silence, he suddenly feels the blow of another boat hitting his.

With his eyes still closed, he feels his anger rising and, when he opens his eyes, he is ready to shout at the boatman who dared to disturb his meditation. But when he opened his eyes, saw that it was an empty boat, not tied up, floating in the middle of the lake…

At that moment, the monk achieves self-realization and understands that anger is within him; it simply needs to hit an external object to provoke it. After that, whenever he meets someone who irritates or provokes his anger, he remembers; the other person is just an empty boat. Anger is inside me.

The internet is triggering people left, right, up, down, and all around. But we are mistaken to believe that it or other people or the things that we read are the cause.

I believe so much of the chaos of the world is simply a result of people projecting their pain onto others, blaming external sources for what ails them.

I like to imagine what the world would look like if we each took the reins of responsibility for how we feel, think, act into our own hands.

Making it a priority to heal our hurts so we don’t seek to hurt others.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again~ I’m devoted to doing my part.

It’s all there is to do.

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Thank you for reading my little post today, my friends.

It’s such a pleasure to have a place to express my thoughts.

be great,

love Jacqueline